


Recovery

by Constantiney



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), College Student Eren Yeager, Confident Eren Yeager, Disturbed Eren, Disturbed Levi, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecure Levi, Levi has insomnia, Levi is on medication, M/M, POV First Person, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Smart ass Levi, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Top Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-05-29 01:39:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6353734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Constantiney/pseuds/Constantiney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being in a psychiatric hospital for 3 years, Levi Ackerman is finally released and renters society as a new man. Until he meets Eren Jeager who turns his world upside down, he begins to fall back into some of his old ways, his reasons for going into the hospital resurfaces, and some of Eren's problems comes to the surface as well. Will Levi be able handle life outside of the hospital or will it be to much for him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recovery

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter of Recovery is finally out let's all celebrate!!! I do want to make clear that this chapter is Levi's last day in the hospital and in the next chapter he will be out in society again and I have so much planned but to quote the great River Song,"Spoilers". Also I wanted to keep Levi and Eren's problems a secret till later on but from the hints that I gave you guys it shouldn't be hard to figure out. I know you guys also saw that I put River Song and the Doctor (11th) in the tags, if you're a Whovian and you know how they are then you will be very excited and understand a lot of references I make. I will make other references to other things but mostly to Doctor Who. I'm gonna shut up now and let you guys read, enjoy:)

"Levi take your pills, this is the last time I'll have to bring them to you and I know you're happy about that", Nurse Jeager said handing me a tiny cup with my pills and a cup of water.

"I have to say, it's bittersweet", I take the pills and drink the water. Nurse Jaeger takes out a flashlight and shines it in my mouth to make sure that it's not hiding under my tongue or behind my top or bottom lips. Having her not come to me every morning and waking me up with that sweet and gentle voice she always has is something I'll miss hearing. I became so accustomed to hearing her that it would feel very strange not to. Her soft smile always made my day, she was my nurse for 3 years, I poured my heart out to her more than I did the therapist I saw everyday. She was like the mom I never had and I'll miss her so much.

"Levi...Levi are you listening to me?", Nurse Jaeger had her hands on her hips looking pissed off but I knew she wasn't, she rarely got mad but when she did it was like someone opened the Gates Of Ghenna. I always got as far from her as I could when she got mad."Levi, what is going on inside that head of yours that you tune out everyone,once you get to thinking about something it's useless to try to get your attention, you can see the cogs turning in your head".

"I'm just thinking about what I'm gonna do when I leave this place, I'll feel like Amy Pond when she got out of the Pandorica after 2,000 years".

"You and my son are just alike, he always talks about history and tv shows, I learn more things from him than he does from me, I think you'd like him".

"You said his name was Eren didn't you?"

"Yes,why?"

"Hm...I could've sworn I've heard that name somewhere before." I had but...where, that name meant something to me it gave me a weird feeling when I said his name, like I was drawn to that name and possibly the person somehow but why?"

"Levi, what are you thinking about now?"

"What? Oh,nothing", I couldn't tell her I was thinking about her son. A guy in the crazy house thinking about her not crazy perfectly stable son. 

"I can see it in your eyes that you're trying to think of where you know that name from".

Damn.

"Don't think too hard about it, all of us have that name that sounds familiar to us but we can never remember where it's from, like me for instance there's this one name I can never figure out where it's from."

"What's the name?"

"Grisha".

"That's an...interesting name", who names their kid Grisha?

"Hey, _your_ name isn't all sunshine and rainbows either, your name is a jean company."

"Touché, Nurse Jaeger, touché".

"I've been in here too long and you need to get ready for group".

"Ugh, I don't feel like dealing with Hanji right now, she's going to make me share my thoughts and feelings about my past 3 years here", I love Hanji don't get me wrong but she tends to go above and beyond especially when it's someone's last day in the hospital.

"Just share the best moments you had here."

"Hanji will make me go through all 1,095.73 days", there was no way in hell that I was going through all those days.

"Ok how do you even know how many days are in 3 years and it really won't be as bad as you think it will, it's all in your head."

"I've been in here for 3 years it's not like I was going anywhere anytime soon, so what choice did I have?"

"Ok, you got me there now get off your rump and go to group, if Hanji tries to make you go through all 1,095 days here just yell for me, alright?"

"Aright", I said reluctantly. I was never one to share my feelings with others it was like leaving a wound open and untreated and when I actually did say how I felt someone would pour lemon juice all over the wound, so now I just keep that wound closed. If I ever did share my feelings it was only with Isabel and Farlen, I knew that they would support and help me with anything, they're my best friends and my family and by this time tomorrow I'll be with my family again.

Walking around and seeing everyone and knowing I would never see them again actually made me sad. People playing chess, the piano, someone painting, writing, watching the tv, and some who are just staring off into the void. I was around these people everyday for 3 years, everyday I saw the same people doing the same thing everyday, except for the person who painted she would always paint unusual things, things I could've sworn that I've seen before but I could never remember where it was from, they were always paintings of a place with gigantic people eating smaller people and there were these people who had these weird gadgets that would lift them up in the air and they would kill the gigantic people. Sometimes her paintings became so brutal and grotesque that they tried to get her to stop painting those disturbing images but it would never work, after a while of trying to get her to stop, they just decided to let her be.

The bell rang which meant it almost time for group to start. I didn't want to go but I knew that I didn't have a choice, I sat down in my usual seat and waited for it to start. Hanji came from around the corner with the happy-go-lucky voice that she always has saying hi to everyone, she sat down and took a deep breath and said," Hello everyone, now I have some bittersweet news for you all and it honestly just breaks my heart but I know that this person is ready", she took a deep breath and began again,"Levi Ackerman is leaving the hospital a new man tomorrow", complete and utter silence throughout the group, I mean I couldn't blame them I wasn't the most outgoing person I mean I always kept to myself and never really talked to anyone except Nurse Jaeger and a few others. "He has been through so much here, some of you may not know this but when Levi first arrived to the hospital he was Mr. Grumpy Grumps"-- everyone laughs a little at that but doesn't react when they found out I was leaving ok then--"he was always so mad because he thought he shouldn't be here but it was classic denial just like everyone has when they first come here. He went through the five stages rather slowly unlike everyone else. After a while of talking to him he did understand why he was here and finally accepted it. Once we passed that phase he became a much better person, still not as social as we want him to be but we feel that he will become more social in due time outside of the hospital."

~~

After about an hour and thirty minutes of pretty much hearing Hanji talk about me and nothing else, I wanted to die but I have to say that it was kind of nice going down memory lane for a little bit, it really showed how much I grew while I was in here and how smart I became, I mean was already smart but whatever. I was 21 when I first came here, being a know-it-all 21 year old in a mental hospital where you have to abide by rules really wasn't my thing back then but I had to deal with it. Now I'm almost 24 and since my birthday is in a week, Isabel is more than likely planning something big.

I realized I was the only one in the group circle and was staring off into the distance like an idiot, so after who knows how long I was sitting I got up and went to my room. Entering my room I immediately had flashbacks of my past 3 years here, I looked over at my bed and saw myself 3 years ago crying quietly, I looked over at the chair I put in the corner and saw myself staring off into the distance not eating,sleeping, or taking my pills, finally I looked over at where my desk was with my notebook on it, I sat there for hours writing non-stop, writing about everything that came into my head. I'm not sentimental I like to keep that under wraps but knowing this is the last night I'll spend in here it did make me sad a little. I started getting the rest of my clothes and folding them to put in my suitcase. I thought about what I was going to do once I left and to be honest I had no idea what I was going to do first but I guess I didn't have to worry about that, Izzy probably planned a whole day of stuff for her,Farlen, and I to do.

A couple hours after I was finally done packing (I didn't even know I had that much stuff with me here) I was called to Hanji's office,I honestly didn't want to deal with her craziness right now but I had no choice. I walked down the hallway to her office and saw her on her computer...hard at work I guess? She looked over at me and gave me a big smiled and told me to sit and I did. Her smile then went away so I knew it was serious then she said,"Levi, I bet you're excited that it's your last day here even though you don't show it like the patients who have left before you have".

"Yeah, I am and you know me I'm not one for smiling or laughing or smirking".

"Isn't smirking the same thing as smiling?"

"In a way it is but smirking is pretty much a half smile, I mean I'd give the occasional smirk every now and then but not often", I could see the look on her face that we were actually talking about facial expressions out of all things.

"Um...Ok but Levi this is one of the reasons why I called you in my office, I want you to smile and have all sorts of facial expressions besides smirking, I want you to get out of that little box of yours and do stuff you've never done, you've been in here for 3 years and you're about to turn 24 so I want you to get out of that box you made for yourself and most importantly I want you to gain self-confidence and to help you with this I have already arranged for you to have a meeting with your new therapist on Thursday of next week".

"I don't need a therapist to help me get out of my comfort zone and gain self-confidence, Isabel and Farlen will help me with that."

"It's not just about that Levi, she is going to see how you're doing each week since you've been released from the hospital and just give her a chance and if you don't like her I can find you different therapist".

"Is she anything like you", I don't think I'd be able to handle 2 Hanjis.

"She's calmer than I am, which in my opinion is a bit boring but to each his own."

"Fine I'll give her a try, can you tell me her name".

"Petra Ral and I will give you the address as well", she wrote her everything down on a piece of paper and gave it to me,"Put this somewhere where you'll be able to find it", I nod and she says,"Well, that's it I'll see you tomorrow morning when you leave. Have you eaten dinner?"

"No, I'm too nervous to eat anything", I'd been in this hospital for 3 year the only way I would knew if something changed or occured is through the news it never really affected me in any way because I was in here but once I leave here it will affect me good and bad. On top of that people in the real world judge you when in here no one does. I'm just nervous on how my life outside of hospital will go.

"Ok then, I'll see you tomorrow morning at ten", she smiled and went back to what she was doing on the computer. I got up and left to go back to my room and sleep even though sleeping was pretty much impossible for me at this moment in time. Walking down the hallway and looking around at everyone the patients, nurses, doctors, and therapists. I wouldn't see any of these faces anymore and that did make me a little sad but I was happy to be leaving. 

Walking back into my room it looked liked no one ever lived here. It was pristine, I did I really good job cleaning this room I had to give myself a pat on the back. Since it was already pretty late decided to try to sleep.

~~

The next morning I woke up, surprised I actually slept at all, and then I remembered that I was leaving today and a big smile came on my face, _I_ was actually smiling now this is a once and a lifetime thing. I looked the clock and it was 9 o'clock so I still had an hour but I didn't care,I got out of bed and got ready. Once I was done getting dressed I quadruple checked I had everything and didn't leave anything behind. I also made sure to put the paper Hanji gave me in my front pocket suitcase.I got my suitcases and walked to the lobby, while I was walking there were people smiling and telling me congratulations I smirked and said thank you to them. Once I got to the lobby Hanji was already there waiting on me. I went up to her and said,"Hey Hanji."

"Levi, there you are so how do you feel?"

"Genuinely happy", this was the first time I'd been this happy in a long time.

"Levi Ackerman is happy?", I never thought I'd see the day".

"Shut up".

We talked until we both saw two very familiar faces walk through the door, it was Isbal and Farlen. I was so happy to see them I couldn't help but smile non-stop. They ran over to me and we hugged each other tight. Isabel started crying but wiped away the tears. After standing there looking me over she finally said,"Hey Levi".

"Hey Izzy", I looked over at Farlen and said,"Hey Farlen".

"Hey Levi, are you ready to go?"

I walked over to Hanji and gave her a hug then she said," You're going to do great things Levi, I know it".

"Thank you Hanji, for everything".

"You're welcome, now go start your new life with your best friends."

"Will do, bye Hanji".

"Bye Levi".

I turned and walked back over to Isabel and Farlen, I could hear Hanji's heels getting further away then there was the sound of the door closing and just like that she was gone.

"Are you ready Levi?", Isabel said.

I look at both of them and said,"Yeah".

We all looked at each other and smiled, I grabbed my suitcases and we walked out of the hospital together, making myself a promise to not look behind me only forward.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a really fun time writing this first chapter even though nothing happened. This first chapter was obviously about how Levi felt and all the different emotions he was feeling on his final day in the hospital. LEVI AND EREN WILL MEET IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! I don't wanna give away spoilers so I have to refrain from telling too much but I can say that their first encounter is pretty awkward and I'm making it as awkward as possible on purpose and there will be a reference to a tv show I just couldn't help making. Anyway, thank you everyone for reading this first chapter of Recovery I hope you'll stick around for more chapters which I definitely plan on making. Leave kudos if you liked the first chapter and wanna read more.
> 
> Side Note: I will try to post a new chapter every week on Saturday. I also want to thank Dressed_In_Darkness for helping me get back into writing fics. Her writing inspired me and I hope will inspire you guys as well. Check her out if you haven't already.
> 
> Side side note??: Every time I wear like a Doctor Who beanie with like an AOT necklace my friends are always telling me to not mix those two fandoms but I think having Levi as a little whovian is super cute and Eren is also in a fandom as well but I'm keeping that a secret until later. Anyway I wanted to know if you like it that Levi is a whovian because he will be making lots of references to the show. Tell me what you think in the comments guys. I do wanna make clear that in this fic Levi's birthday isn't in December it's in June or July I'm still trying to make up my mind so yeah I just didn't want people asking me like why isn't he saying anything about Christmas or anything. If you have a problem with his birthday being in a different month then don't read it is all I can say but if you don't mind then thank you guys and I'll see you in the next chapter.


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